Our pals over at Edmunds get all of the cake jobs. They recently took a 2012 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8 up against a 2011 Porsche Cayenne Turbo and ran them both through the performance wringer to see which was faster. We’ll save you the heartache and simply tell you up front who won: the Porsche. That being said, it didn’t win by much, and the price difference between the two vehicles seems to us like too much money for not enough extra performance.

That, and well…a lot of other tests fetch results that are exactly opposite of Edmunds. Just sayin’.

To begin, the Jeep and the Porsche are both SUV’s that were created to be muscle car station wagons with all wheel drive. We’re simply not going to give you the standard line that neither vehicle will ever venture off road, because it’s obvious that neither one will. Ever. These suckers are meant to be speed-demon, country club hopping, kid haulers.

The Jeep is priced at $54,470, has a 470HP naturally aspirated 6.4L HEMI, runs 0-to-60 MPH in 5.1 seconds, does the quarter mile in 13.4 seconds at 101.8 MPH, the slalom at 67.2 MPH, and can pull a .87g on the skid pad. Anyway you slice it, those are impressive numbers.

As we started before, the Porsche is faster in this particular test, and it beat the Jeep in every single category except the slalom, but at a hefty price. It tips the sticker at $121,120 and comes with a 500HP twin turbo’d V8, which makes 30 more horses than the Jeep’s mill. From 0 to 60 MPH if took a mere 4.6 seconds, it ran the quarter mile in 12.8 second and 109 MPH, the slalom at 6 MPH, and hit the skid pad at .94.