According to this Craigslist ad, this 1972 Plymouth Satellite was “built for safety”, but is completely race-ready. “We are talking high 11 low 12 seconds on a quarter mile,” according to the current owner. Further inspection of the photos doesn’t show a single instance where safety OR racing was taken into account during the car’s “construction” – it appears as it this could be the original 440 with a manifold and Demon carburetor stuck on top.

In fact, other than the carburetor and manifold, we don’t see a single part that will increase performance anywhere on the car. And since a 1972-vintage 440 came from the factory with 225 net horsepower thanks to the new smog regulations of the era combined with a new-for-the-year horsepower rating system, we fail to see how eleven or twelve-second quarter-mile times are possible.

From the overtaxed electrical system to the use of the blue valve-cover hold-downs (when there is no blue anywhere else on the vehicle!), every shady sales tactic is used to pass a bum deal off to an unsuspecting buyer is present in this instance. The ad is full of fun, but the one that stuck with us most is that the “car was built for breaking laws and stealing women going fast is just a side effect,” yet we can’t find any instance of women drooling over a rusted-out, rattletrap, different-wheel-wearing rustbucket such as this. We wouldn’t be surprised to find a crankcase full of sawdust upon further inspection, and we’re also quite a bit disappointed to see that the trunk doesn’t lock – where are we going to hide the booze and guns?!?

The only way we see $6,000 changing hands in this deal is if the buyer is blind. Craigslist, the epitome of the cliche “there’s an ass for every seat.”