My Gentleman's Muscle Car

As of yesterday morning, Lincoln-Mercury dealerships are now just Lincoln dealerships. You will see no more Mercury signs hovering over lots loaded with Grand Marquis’, Milans and Mariners. The book is closed on Ford’s middle child, a brand that never had an identity all its own, even when the first Mercury 8 came off the assembly line back in 1938.

Today, the only people still buying Mercurys are about as old as the brand itself, and Ford was well within its rights to pull the plug on this terminally-ill patient. Not many will miss Mercury.

But I will.

My first car was a Mercury, a 1995 Villager minivan that was, in fact, a collaborative project between Ford and Nissan. The hand-me-down minivan with over 200,000 miles was an unremarkable car in every way, but it will always be my fist car.

I imagine that many young people’s first (and last) experience with Mercury was as a car passed down from one generation to the next. For me, it was just the beginning.

Later that year, I was looking for a project car with my father. I knew I didn’t want a Camaro or Mustang, because all the cool kids had them.

The Mercury 8; Once the Coolest Car on the Road

One Cool Cat, Once

I was bouncing between Buicks and Plymouths, when my eye fell on to a Mercury Cougar. “Fancy Mustang, Hidden Headlights, All There Just Needs Engine!” the ad said.

I was sold, and so was the car, for $1,200.

Since then, it’s been my perpetual project car, and wherever it went, it always got a lot of questions. “What is it? Who made it? Really?”

None of my friends could believe that this Cougar could be related to the luxury-barges their grandparents drove between bingo and the retirement community. It always stood out at car shows where it was often the only one of its kind. I never won any awards, but people always told me how cool my Mercury looked.

By Mercury’s last days, it was anything but cool. The last gasp of original product from Mercury was the 1999 Mercury Cougar, which ditched the V8, rear-wheel drive setup in favor of a front-drive, V6 setup to compete with import sport coupes that were popular with the kids.

Ford’s attempt to capture some of the youth import market failed miserably, and after three slow years, Ford killed the Cougar, and any chance for reviving the middling child. Many wondered aloud if Mercury would follow Plymouth and Oldsmobile, two brands killed off in the early 2000’s. Instead, it struggled on until June of this year, when Ford finally pulled the plug on the uncool brand.

Yet there was a time when Mercury was at the cutting edge of cool. After World War II, when new car production resumed, Mercury was billed the “junior Lincoln,” an entry level-luxury brand.

The very first “lead sled” built by Sam Burris was a 1949 Mercury 8, which became an instant hit among the car customizing crowds and started a revolution in styling. The 1950’s was Mercury’s golden era, if it had a golden era, and cars like the flagship Turnpike Cruiser helped distinguish the brand from the rest of the Ford family, even if just briefly.

In the 60’s, Ford and Mercury competed side-by-side in drag racing, road racing, and stock car racing. Cars like the Cougar, Marauder, and the Cyclone all had Ford counterparts, and could found on race tracks across the country with the Blue Oval’s biggest engines.

Last Gasp of a Dying Brand: The 1999 Mercury Cougar

This was the heyday of Mercury performance, and the brand managed to notch up some impressive victories across all facets of motorsports. Suddenly, the “junior Lincoln” was starting to look a lot more like an upscale Ford as the two brands shared a lot of track time together.

From 1970 onward, Ford and Mercury would become kissing cousins, sharing virtually every platform from the pitiful Pinto to the oversized Thunderbird. And while Ford flourished, Mercury floundered. It all comes back to identity.

People can identify with a Ford, or a Pontiac or even a Chevy. But Mercury? Who wants to identify with mediocrity, who wants to settle for middle-of-the-road anymore? Who could identify with a brand that couldn’t identify itself?

Ford created the brand, and they couldn’t even figure it out. It wasn’t for lack of trying, as there were brief flares of brilliance amid the mediocrity. There was never anything really bad to say about Mercury, just as there was never anything really good to say either.

Now, there’s nothing much at all to say about Mercury, except goodbye.

Once the future, now forever the past