Beauty is the eye of the beholder; however, as this aberration proves, taste is something else entirely. And while a car is a perfect canvas for you to express your emotions and personality, how much do you want to reveal, and how much should be left out?
The owner of this particular SUV feels his true self lies in tribal identity and Transformers, and he goes to great lengths to convey such feelings in his staggeringly disgusting Pontiac Aztek.
In an exterior scheme that would make Mike Tyson, Michael Bay, and white trailer trash tremble in the knees, our hero had the cajones to first select a Pontiac Aztek, which, unless it’s being used by Walter White (Breaking Bad) to plow through gangsters, is simply one of the worst-looking cars you could be seen driving in.
He then added black racing stripes, a la Bumblebee from Transformers, along with tribal tattoo decals – more than likely a personal touch that reflects his own bodily tattoos – all along the side, and even in the front, just below the hood.
If you’re gagging now, take a moment and relax. Try not to think of the money he spent trying to track down and purchase all this crap.
Okay, now come back and look at the hubcaps: the front ones are given some kind of Beyblade treatment, while the rears bear the emblem of the Autobots, who we all know and love as the heroes of the Transformers universe.
But something tells me that this Aztek, if it were to ever be included in the franchise, would be consigned to the expendable/comic relief role.
We’ll call it a Transformer, sure, but it gets utterly destroyed before it ever gets the chance to turn into a giant robot. I’ll take my check for $4,000 now, thank you very much.
Mr. Bay, if you’re reading this, you would be remiss to leave out this four-wheeled, spoiler-sullied, automotive abomination from Transformers 5. Please, just consider it.
On a side note, I think it’s interesting to note that his license plate reads: “ERR 3108.” I like to imagine that somewhere, somehow, someone at the DMV knew what would become of this Aztek, and chose the error code for white trash driving Pontiac Azteks to be used as his plate digits. Funny stuff.