We live in some very strange times. Amid the revival of high performance muscle cars from the Big Three is a huge effort to improve fuel efficiency and build electric cars that could, one day, drive themselves. But we’re all drivers. We don’t want some car to drive us around; we want to grab the proverbial bull by the horns and drive our own destiny. Alas, the way the rest of the world seems to be going, we’ll be lucky if we’re even allowed to drive 20 years from now.

That is, unless Dodge has something to say about it. Autoblog plucked two new commercials from Dodge’s new “Never Neutral” campaign, and they carry on the tradition of entertaining spoofs from Dodge.

We’ve grown to enjoy Michael C. Hall (star of the serial-killer show Dexter) as the “voice” of Dodge. His cocky, snarky tone is perfect for the perennial underdog brand, Dodge. It’s the right voice for a time where people seem to be stepping back from the real world and delving deeper and deeper into the virtual confines of the Internet. That’s where the first commercial, “Test Drive,” comes in.

Mitsubishi, Chrysler’s former strategic ally, has recently begun letting Internet users take a virtual “test drive” in a specially equipped Outlander SUV. We’ll admit, it’s a clever stunt, but as Michael C. Hall points it, “That’s absurd.” Why do you test drive a car? To get a feel for it. You can’t feel acceleration from the comfort of your home computer, and you can’t judge the stopping prowess of a car with a click of a mouse. It’s a clever-but-easy potshot at a company with struggling U.S. sales, one of the few car companies struggling to recover from the recession.

We like “Slipper Slope” even better though, because it takes to task all the major automakers who are outfitting their cars with “convenience features” like self-parking. If you can’t park a car, buy a bicycle. Then there’s Google’s driverless car (a Prius, of course) which racked up something like 3 million test miles without an accident. Again, that’s kind of cool, but if you don’t want to drive a car, then take the bus. We’ll never give up the keys to our cars, and Dodge seems to get that. Make sure you watch both commercials, they’re worth a good laugh at the expense of other carmakers.