There is a fine line – it seems – between what it is to describe a car as being both masculine and muscular while all the while being sleek, sexy and attractive. It would seem, for this argument, that Dodge has been the biggest offender of slipping off that precarious edge…particularly concerning the Dodge Charger. Whomever was in charge of Dodge’s 1969 Dodge Charger advertising campaign sure liked dancing that line and regularly slipped off the cliff time and again.

Consider the above “The Eternal Triangle,” written in the woman’s narrative, it would seem that she – instead of the brand new R/T, 4-speed Charger – was the other woman. Ridiculous, right? Er, well…not so much, especially when you consider the following:

Ah yes, the infamous “Julia” advertisement. Pay no attention to the fact that this ad implies that the supple young blonde photographed is too dense to grasp what the R/T SE badging on the T7 Tuscan Bronze Charger means, rather, read into how this narrative more or less shouts, “I’m attracted to you because you drive a bitchin’ car.” While we men all know this be fact, proper political correctness would have us remain tight-lipped.

This one really doesn’t require much more explanation, save for the fact that this obviously speaks that the Charger is obviously aimed for men. Why? Apparently women aren’t attracted to Chargers. Oh wait, if that were true then this following ad wouldn’t make any sense (although it doesn’t make much sense anyways…)

As sort of a odd retaliation against the previous “Julia” ad, Dodge produced this country bumpkin version, which, besides implies that buying a Charger rapidly aged this 22-year-old into a toothless 1840’s prospector, it also hints that the Charger converted this “good Mid-Western boy” into a lascivious, bi-sexual. Yeah, read that “Resurrection City” line again. For whatever reason, we just don’t think this was a successful advertisement. Call us crazy.

Trying to show that Dodge’s B-Body Charger has grown up – but not totally lost its soul – this advertisement edifies man’s role as the sole provider for the family. While this advocacy of traditional sex roles slaps the face of today’s “liberated” family construct, it is funny that it taps into the thought that while men are out to do the “right thing,” the decision making process is still a guttural, primitive instinct based upon attraction. In other words, this man would like to mate with this car.

OK, so it’s pretty much impossible to not include this ridiculous title. While we love the ickiness implied by this title accompanied with a windowless panel van featured here in this advertisement, we have to touch on the fact that as Dodge carried its “Charger” nameplate over to its SUV/truck platform, so did its wildly machismo-styled advertising from a decade earlier.

It’s 2010, you’d think we’d be past this political minefield, right? Yeah, not so much. When Dodge released this advertisement for the 2009 Dodge Charger during the Super Bowl last year, you’d think they filmed chauvinist radio host Tom Lykis socking a nun in the bosoms (oh wait, that’s sexist too!). Anyways, this ad, titled “Man’s Last Stand” is thankfully a big slap in the face to the domesticated male who accompanies his spouse to Bed, Bath & Beyond and enjoys watching craptacular chick flicks starring Jennifer Aniston.

You might love Mustangs and Camaros, but at least you know with Dodge Charger you’re a man’s man. Now, go punch a grizzly bear in the jewels.